My rainy day craft box

Writer's Block: Go it alone

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 00:16:54 GMT

Do you think society puts too much pressure on people to be in relationships and/or have children? Do you think this ostracizes people who would be perfectly content to remain single and/or child-free? Is this pressure worse around the holidays?

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I do resent the fact that it seems like it's what's expected of you. I especially resent the fact that people who say they don't want children are regarded as selfish and immature - because it makes so much sense to make the mark of a person's maturity them doing something that any 14 year-old is biologically capable of doing.

Fun with Kirk Cameron

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 20:46:03 GMT

It doesn't get really good until 1:35 when he mentions Darwin's racism and sexism, as if those two things have anything to do with the validity of his scientific theories. For extra fun is Hitler's "undeniable connection" to Darwinism. Surprisingly, Hitler's "undeniable connection" to the works of Martin Luther and Protestantism go unmentioned.

A piece of wisdom I read in WoW trade chat

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:14:21 GMT

A chair says a lot about a man. A throne: you did some good things. A beanbag chair: you got high a lot.

Possibly of interest to you , Mel.

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 04:02:26 GMT

Church of Scientology possibly to blame for man's suicide.

And they say the cities aren't safe.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:26:06 GMT

I've said for years that Missouri is Kansas City on one side, St. Louis on the other, and several hundred miles of Twilight Zone in between. Although maybe that's not a good analogy because in the Twilight Zone the horrific happenings always have a moral and a point. Being something of a true crime aficionado I've been following a couple of really horrific cases that have broken within days of each other.

On one side we've got the fifteen year-old girl who butchered a nine year-old acquaintance to "see what it felt like."
http://www.newstribune.com/articles/2009/11/18/news_local/doc4b03e12d78cb3700623688.txt

And on the other we have Burrell Mohler, his brother, and four sons who make the murderous backwoods mutants from the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Hills Have Eyes" films look like the family on "7th Heaven."
http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/11/17/missouri.child.sexual.abuse/index.html

This one especially hits home for me since at the time of their arrests Burrell and most of his brood were living in Independence, which persistent readers will know is where I used to live. I wish I could say I'm surprised at their involvement in our local wacky religious cult who live in a giant twisted glass spire that supposedly contains a luxurious bedroom reserved for Jesus when He returns. But I'm not.

I would like to say that this is a nice region to live in; a really, really nice one. But I guess that's where you should always count on evil to rear its head most flagrantly.

Writer's Block: Raincheck!

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:39:45 GMT

If your best friend forgave his or her partner for cheating and lying, would you try to forgive him or her too? Would you find it difficult to spend time with them as a couple?

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Since all of my best friends are quite lovely women I would feel what's really important isn't whether or not I forgive their partners. What would be important is that a friend in that situation would understand that I'm here for her and totally willing to do it with her in order for her to get back at the cheating bastard :)

Bite my shiny metal house!

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:38:49 GMT

http://lovelylisting.com/2009/11/bite-my-shiny-metal-house.html

If Frank Herbert were alive and writing internet memes:

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:51:06 GMT

Step 1) Extract Water of Life from drowned baby sandworm.

Step 2) Ingest Water of Life.

Step 3) Transmute Water of Life.

Step 4) ???

Step 5) PROPHET!

Interview time!

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 22:02:45 GMT

-Say you want to be interviewed.
• I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
• Update your journal with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions

Here are the questions I got from cherith

1) I have only known you through LJ, so how did you first get online, and then what brought you to LJ?

I didn't get online until college but rapidly fell in love with the medium of online communication. LJ was initially a way for me to keep up on the lives of a couple of long distance friends. Envious of the fun they were having, I signed up too.

2) If they made one of your stories into a movie, and you got free range to pick the cast of your dreams, what story would it be, and who would play the characters?

I make wishlist casts for stories in my head all the time. Since Apocalypse Woman is my only published work ATM I'll use my cast for that:
Abryax...Costas Mandylor
Selkines Ondine...Radha Mitchell
Erasmus Archaty...Cilian Murphy
Brisins De Mar...Zooey Deschanel

3) I don't see you talk about television a lot other than occasional mentions of LOST. Are there are any TV shows you're currently following?

Given my intense fondness for LOST it's probably no surprise that I'm eagerly following FlashForward right now. And of course I'm also enjoying V. There are several procedural dramas I really enjoy but don't follow obsessively: all the Law & Order shows, CSI Miami, NCIS. I'll also usually stop and watch House if I'm channel surfing and come to it. I was really into Battlestar Galactica in its first two seasons but lost track. Someday I'll get caught up.

4) I know you're a big fan of the Dune series. What makes them so appealing to you?

I saw the David Lynch movie as a child and even though I had no clue what was going on I was very drawn in by the set and costume designs and could tell this was a movie about something really important. I like it because it's such a naked critique of the human condition; about how what makes us great is unavoidably tied to the failings that bring us low.

5) What are your top 5 non-metal musicians?

Tori Amos, Loreena McKennit, Mary Fahl/October Project, The Medieval Baebes, Sarah McLachlan

I'm a boy. I do not have "fandoms" but these are fictional universes I really like.

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 06:34:51 GMT

Summarize 10 of your fandoms in one sentence, then see who on your friends list can guess each fandom.

~~1. Don't try to resurrect dead people or you'll wind up a cyborg working for a fascist government.~~ Fullmetal Alchemist

~~2. Uh, why are we trying to awaken psychic powers in unstable gang members again?~~ Akira

~~3. Have you seen a little girl who is short with black hair?~~ Silent Hill

~~4. Most badass allegory about the oil industry ever.~~ Dune

5. We used to have talking trees and laser guns and now we're stuck using swords and it's all the fault of some stupid, pigheaded man!

~~6. Jesus loves the little children, especially world-hopping British ones.~~ Chronicles of Narnia

~~7. Talk to the hand, especially about fighting the undead.~~ Vampire Hunter D

~~8. If you torture her she'll just wind up foiling your evil plan and having some really good orgasms along the way.~~ Kushiel

9. One blow to the head can solve all your problems. Or can it?

~~10. We could do our job and send evil ghosts back to hell... or we could just have really long drawn out swordfights with each other.~~ Bleach

Schadenfreude at Dune's development hell.

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 05:37:55 GMT

In case you didn't know Paramount Pictures is trying to do yet another remake of Dune. Apparently Peter Berg, the director who had been trying to lure in Robert Pattinson for a starring role, just walked. I'm sure this will lead to all sorts of fanboying over who "should" direct a Dune remake and who "should" star in it.

But what fun is that? So just to be different I've put together a dream cast that I would never, ever, EVER want to see in a production of Dune. It doesn't mean that I think they're bad actors, just that they would do a terrible job in Dune.

Paul Atreides/Muad'ib - Shia Lebouf
Duke Leto Atreides - Jim Caviezel
Lady Jessica - Cameron Diaz
Baron Vladimir Harkonnen - Tim Heidecker
Glasso "The Beast" Rabban Harkonnen - Eric Wareheim
Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen - Hayden Christiansen
Padisha Emperor Shaddam Corrino IV - Dennis Hopper
Princess Irulan Corrino - Megan Fox
Thufir Hawat - Kenneth Brannagh
Gurney Halleck - Willem Dafoe
Duncan Idaho - David Boreanaz
Stilgar - Jason Statham
Chani - Michelle Trachtenberg
Liet-Kynnes - Nicholas Cage
Reverend Mother Gaius Helena Mohiam - Frances McDormand
Count Fenring - David Hasselhoff
Dr. Wellington Yueh - Dan Hedaya
Piter De Vries - Keanu Reeves

If you've got your own "worst of" Dune cast list, share it with me!

Writer's Block: So funny I forgot to laugh

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 03:07:38 GMT

If a friend cracks a corny joke, do you force yourself to laugh politely? What about if it's your boss or teacher? Do you get annoyed if someone else pretends to be amused?

Submitted By maxwearsboots

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I'm the one usually making with the corny jokes. My friends rarely indulge me with a pity laugh.

The Theology of MMORPG'S

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:22:40 GMT

Some friends recently had a discussion about religion and one of them made the analogy that "God is basically like an MMO developer." This got me thinking and that's never a good thing. If God is an MMO developer then that would mean different religions and beliefs are like different types of players you encounter in the games. Remember this is all in good fun.

CATHOLICISM: Hardcore endgame raiding guild who distributes loot based on a VERY strict DKP system. Guild Leader has the final say in ALL matters, however you are expected to report to one of the guild officers regularly, especially if you have any conflicts with guild plans and goals.

JUDAISM: Veteran raiders who have been playing since the game was released and feel that with each expansion the game has gotten farther away from its original intent. Despite the fact that they openly shy away from newer content they are still constantly believed to have vast amounts of loot and gear. Regularly raid old content, but on a slightly different schedule than many other raiding guilds.

EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANITY: Can be seen in chat constantly PUG'ing for group members, saying that you MUST be geared and WILL be inspected. Even highly geared and experienced players are turned away for not being geared enough. Also tend to take PVP events based around in-game holidays very, very seriously.

BUDDHISM: Tries very hard to reach endgame content but keeps getting distracted by leveling alts. Have been known to change factions/races/servers regularly.

ATHEISM: Think that the game is entirely too focused on endgame content and PVP and that it's not fair to people who just want to play casually. In fact, peoples' fanatical obsession with getting endgame-level gear is responsible for nearly all the PVP in the game and the game would be better off without it. If you try to explain to them that the developers care they will claim it has been proven that the developers do not even read the game forums. And even if they do they don't listen to what the players want anyway.

JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: [JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES] Is family-friendly guild for mature players! We are actively looking for members and want to help you quest and level! Pst me for details!
[JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES] Is family-friendly guild for mature players! We are actively looking for members and want to help you quest and level! Pst me for details!
[JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES] Is family-friendly guild for mature players! We are actively looking for members and want to help you quest and level! Pst me for details!

Maybe it's the weather

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:53:09 GMT

I hate to sound all emo but I am deeply, deeply lonely right now.

A parable I just had to share.

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 04:45:55 GMT

Taken from a post in christianity

A peasant came running up to a holy man, who was resting under a tree. “The stone! The stone! Give me the precious stone!”

“What stone?” asked the holy man.

“Last night I dreamed that I would find a holy man who would give me a precious stone that would make me rich forever,” replied the peasant.

The holy man rummaged through his bag and pulled out a stone. “He probably meant this one,” he said as he handed it to the peasant. “I found it on a forest path a few days ago. You can certainly have it.”

The man looked at the stone in wonder. It was a diamond, probably the largest diamond in the whole world; he took it and walked away. All night he tossed about in bed, unable to sleep. Next day at the crack of dawn he woke the holy man and said, “Give me the wealth that makes it possible for you to give this diamond away so easily.”

Writer's Block: Happy go lucky

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:20:47 GMT

Do you believe some people are more fortunate than others or do you think people create their own luck? In your opinion, are some people cursed?

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I've seen some very profound and wise answers on my friends list. I doubt I could do better than they have. But I'll wax spiritual for a moment and state that I believe in Original Sin in the sense that the entire world is under a curse. We're all born under a curse, every one of us. The fact that some of us are born to lives of ease and others to lives of horror is a part of it. It takes all fairness out of everything. I think we're all born with responsibility to each other, that if we're fortunate enough to have more we should use it to help people who have less. We don't do that. I certainly don't.

I know some people who've achieved phenomenal things with what they've been given and who use it to help others whenever they can. They're the kind of people I want to be more like. I'm not as fortunate as many, more fortunate than most. And I hope I can put to use the lessons of the people I just described.

Writer's Block: Cyberstalking

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:41:34 GMT

Do you keep tabs on ex-boyfriends and -girlfriends over social networking sites? Do you think it's emotionally healthy or dangerous? Amusing or painful?

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The term "keep tabs on" sounds like doing it without their knowledge, which is akin to stalking. And that's not emotionally healthy. I think we can all agree on that.

There are some ex's I've lost track of and some I'm in contact with over social networking sites. There's no harm in having online contact with someone if you both like the idea of it.

Vagina patrol!

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:16:48 GMT

While out looking for work today I wound up at a stoplight behind an SUV slathered with bumper stickers, including numerous "rainbow" stickers one normally associates with gay rights/acceptance/tolerance, etc. Amidst all these pro-gay declarations was one conspicuously large sticker emblazoned with the legend "I <3 VAGINA." I could see the driver and it was quite clearly a male.

It was just interesting and got me thinking. Like, is that a disclaimer or something? Like he wants to send the message that he is pro-gay while simultaneously making sure no one thinks that he is gay himself? This guy could be lots of fun at gay rights rallies.

"Equal marriage for everyone! Marriage is love! Equal rights and partner benefits for gays! Oh, and by the way, I HEART VAGINA! Just throwing that out there. Don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. I mean, you gentlemen are certainly fine but vagina is where it's at for me. In fact, if there are any straight girls in the crowd here today, please be aware that I am available. Bi girls too! Damn, sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like I would discriminate against bi girls. Bi girls are okay! In fact, they're better than okay! Er... not that I would take a bi girl over a straight girl because that would be discrimination too. Damn, I'm screwing this up. Let me start over. My name is Steve and I HEART VAGINA!"

Writer's Block: Job search

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 23:06:37 GMT

Are you happy at your current job? Do you think there's such a thing as a dream job? What do you hope to be doing five or ten years from now? Are you working towards that goal?

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I will be happy WHEN I have a current job, whatever it might be. I had a promising set of interviews today and I really hope it finally brings this nightmare to an end.

In five or ten years I hope to have a Master's in Library Science and have my novels in print. No matter what I want stories and writing to be my life on some level. Whether I'm writing books or just working around them I intend for that to be my focus.

Preach On Brother!

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 06:23:06 GMT

I cannot get this guy's bumper sticker out of my mind.

"I'd rather be cummin' than strokin'?" There is not really any level on which that statement even makes sense. Now perhaps his method of strokin' differs from mine - and I'll be the first to admit that the Kaplansky Overhand Method is not for everyone - but generally speaking the two actions are not and should not be mutually exclusive!

But the last thing I want is to be uncharitable. I am willing to consider that this poor deluded fellow's non-progressive views on strokin' may not be entirely his fault. Let us travel back twenty years to a scene that might have been in a trailer park that once was...

FATHER: Boy, git over here! *chugs beer* BRAAAP! Alright boy, now tell yer old man what it's gonna be. Do you wanna be cummin' or do you wanna be strokin'?

SON: I... I wanna be strokin', papa.

FATHER: WHAT? No son o' mine is gonna be a namby-pamby, wishy-washy stroker! You got that?

SON: B-but papa...

FATHER: NO BUTS! Now you listen and you listen good! If you ain't cummin' then you ain't nothin'! Got it?

SON: Yes papa...

FATHER: Good! Now carry the rest o' that Dimetapp out to the shed. Yer helpin' me cook meth tonight!

Gives you pause, doesn't it? The next time you shake your head in bafflement at the bumper sticker of a man who says he'd rather be cummin' than strokin' take a moment and think "there but for the grace, go I..."

An article that's making the rounds.

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 03:54:47 GMT

Gore Vidal: Portrait of an American Douchebag.

For a guy who dismisses other writers as self-glorifying ol' Gore sure seems to have an inflated view of his own opinions. I don't disagree with him on things like Afghannistan or Conservativism, but I have serious issues with his entire attitude, not to mention his palling around with Timothy McVeigh.

Writer's Block: Would you want a do-over?

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 19:50:24 GMT

Given the choice, would you start this day over again? How about this month or this year?

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There are plenty of years of my life I'd love to experience a second time. This ain't one of 'em.

Everybody knows that the war is over. Everybody knows that the good guys lost...

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 19:42:28 GMT

But you know what? Leonard Cohen is still a really awesome guy.

Mystery of the mysterious book SOLVED

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 22:36:56 GMT

Well the author of the mysterious book from the previous entry promptly responded to my query. It turns out he's trying to get it published still but printed a few copies up for his family and friends. One such friend was driving the rental car that wound up where I am. He said that since he'll be seeing his friend again in a few weeks for me to just keep the copy and let him know if I liked it.

So there you have it. It wasn't a sinister tome of ancient secrets or even a super-secret publisher-only advance copy of a forthcoming bestseller whose safe return would have merited a hefty cash reward after all. But it does appear to be a decent novel written by a super-nice guy who is very generous. If I enjoy reading it I shall pimp it thoroughly because I know a thing or two about being a struggling novelist.

The Case of the Book that Doesn't Exist was closed. I'd earned a quiet night alone with a bottle of smooth gin and the sounds of even smoother jazz. Let's hope my next case is the kind that involves a sultry dame walking into my office.

The book that wasn't there

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:32:55 GMT

I now own a book that doesn't exist.

My father works for a rental car agency and occasionally he comes across interesting items left in the cars upon return. When nobody shows up to claim them he brings them to me. Yesterday he gave me what appears to be a science fiction novel titled Kimoreah by one Alan Markson. The cover is completely black with no illustrations. There is no publisher logo and no bar code. This might make it self-published except there appears to be no place online where you can go to purchase this book. There is no mention of it anywhere. Searching for the title and author only brings up a Xanga site that has not been updated in two years. And did I mention that the book is shrink wrapped in plastic? All this leads me to think that this was not intended to fall into strangers' hands.

I left a comment on the Xanga site but that's really all I can do at this point. I could care less about reading this particular book but I'd really like to solve the mystery that surrounds it.